If you were stuck in the woods at a camp (and you’ve been making out with boys, naughty you) and some hockey-faced wearing freak started terrorizing you with a chainsaw…which Friday the Thirteener would you trip so you could make a clean getaway?
This is a very good question. And although I laughed while reading it, I take my answer very seriously. Chainsaw-wielding masked freaks are a scary possibility and should be planned for accordingly.
So who would I sacrifice to save my own life? I better analyze this.
Shannon has huge brains. Come on, the girl is putting out two books in a year (a middle grade AND a young adult), she has a lot going on up there. Erin is also big in the brain department. I mean, most of the cool stuff on this blog is her doing. Smart girl. So either one of them might be able to think up a way to get away from a masked man should I trip them. And if they can’t, let’s face it, their big brains will take longer for the chainsaw to get through thus giving me more time to run away.
Ellen could probably beat the crap out of the masked man. I’ve heard she’s had several practice fights to prepare. So I might pick her because she might actually survive if I tripped her.
Natalie on the other hand has this one stare that can be quite unnerving. She might be able to stare him down. And if that doesn’t work, I hear she’s a ninja. But she is pregnant right now, so that might make me feel really guilty. I don't like to feel guilty.
Megan wrote a book about a madman’s daughter. That in and of itself should qualify her to deal with all sorts of madmen. Plus she got to be on the set of The Hunger Games so she should be able to….wait there were no chainsaws in The Hunger Games, but still, it should give her some sort of survival skills. She probably pushed a few people over to get to Liam Hemsworth (I know I would).
Shannon has huge brains. Come on, the girl is putting out two books in a year (a middle grade AND a young adult), she has a lot going on up there. Erin is also big in the brain department. I mean, most of the cool stuff on this blog is her doing. Smart girl. So either one of them might be able to think up a way to get away from a masked man should I trip them. And if they can’t, let’s face it, their big brains will take longer for the chainsaw to get through thus giving me more time to run away.
Ellen could probably beat the crap out of the masked man. I’ve heard she’s had several practice fights to prepare. So I might pick her because she might actually survive if I tripped her.
Natalie on the other hand has this one stare that can be quite unnerving. She might be able to stare him down. And if that doesn’t work, I hear she’s a ninja. But she is pregnant right now, so that might make me feel really guilty. I don't like to feel guilty.
Megan wrote a book about a madman’s daughter. That in and of itself should qualify her to deal with all sorts of madmen. Plus she got to be on the set of The Hunger Games so she should be able to….wait there were no chainsaws in The Hunger Games, but still, it should give her some sort of survival skills. She probably pushed a few people over to get to Liam Hemsworth (I know I would).
Is the masked guy Liam Hemsworth by any chance? Because if that’s the case I might be willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good.
Elsie is this tiny little thing so even though I hear she can hold her own in a fight, if worse came to worse, she wouldn’t be able to keep the chainsaw occupied long enough for me to get away. But she does have kids so she’s probably really good at getting a crazy person to do what she wants him to do.
April is hilarious (sometimes in a wildly inappropriate way). She might be able to tell some jokes and keep the guy entertained. But after one of my friends is hacked, I’ll probably need her to tell a few jokes about it to get my mind off of the horror.
Mindy is also super funny, but her jokes are very dry so mask-guy might not know she’s kidding. This might anger him further. But, she is involved with a million blogs. So maybe chainsaw freak would be struck dumb by her star status.
So my answer? Why not trip all of them? That's my best chance. It’s all about survival, right? Love you, girls.
Elsie is this tiny little thing so even though I hear she can hold her own in a fight, if worse came to worse, she wouldn’t be able to keep the chainsaw occupied long enough for me to get away. But she does have kids so she’s probably really good at getting a crazy person to do what she wants him to do.
April is hilarious (sometimes in a wildly inappropriate way). She might be able to tell some jokes and keep the guy entertained. But after one of my friends is hacked, I’ll probably need her to tell a few jokes about it to get my mind off of the horror.
Mindy is also super funny, but her jokes are very dry so mask-guy might not know she’s kidding. This might anger him further. But, she is involved with a million blogs. So maybe chainsaw freak would be struck dumb by her star status.
So my answer? Why not trip all of them? That's my best chance. It’s all about survival, right? Love you, girls.
Thanks for the fun question, Martha!
Up next Friday: Megan Shepherd. Don't forget to leave her some truths or dares here.
And tune in this coming Tuesday when our next mystery author will be revealed!!
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Kasie West writes YA paranormal. She graduated from Fresno State University with a BA degree that has nothing to do with writing. She earned her masters in Junior Mint eating (which is awarded after eating your millionth King Size box....and is now working on her PhD). She loves sappy alternative rock ballads and reading way past her bedtime.
Her debut novel PIVOT POINT will be out with HarperTeen in the Winter of 2013
There is no better post to wake up to than one from Kasie West claiming she'd mow you over in a heartbeat to save herself from a crazy dude in the woods! Kasie, thank you SO MUCH for making me laugh at 630 am. Yep, I can totally hold my own in a fight, AND I'm a runner. I'd overtake you, lady!!! Ha.
ReplyDeletelol Yes, I know, it's a great thought to wake up to right? And you really shouldn't have let me know all of your additional survival skills. You're just adding to the tally here. :)
DeleteOh, Kasie. Even after you confess to wanting to trip us all in order to save your own butt from Chainsaw Wielding Man In The Woods, I can't help but love you a bit more. <333
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I didn't make 8 enemies today. :) Although, if this ever does happen in real life, I have a feeling 8 people will be pushing me down. Ha!
DeleteAh. But Kasie, what if you get tripped first?
ReplyDeleteAwesome question, fantastic answer. ;)
I probably will.....now. :)
DeleteHere's hoping you have bigger feet then everyone else.
ReplyDeleteI think out of this group, I do have the biggest feet. This will come in handy. :)
DeleteI think we should hold a Friday the Thirteeners writing retreat in the woods to test this theory. I'll pay my husband to dress up in a mask and scare us, and then we'll see who you'd REALLY push.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally sweet, and this post made my day :)
If we did a thirteeners cabin retreat, and it didn't turn into a bloodbath, well, I guess I'd be a little disappointed. I mean, a bunch of hot, artistic girls alone in the woods? Who wouldn't want tap that, killing-wise?
DeleteNo, Megan, because now all of you will push me! :)
DeleteYes, April, this is proof of the statement in my post. lol
Oh and I DID push aside a bunch of 12 year old girls to get to Liam Hemsworth. But only because I admire his acting ability. Uh, I swear.
ReplyDeleteI knew it! I would've pushed them too! For his...acting ability...yeah, that's it.
DeleteI just want to say that I can probably hold my own against a crazy man, whatever he's wielding. But when the zombies come, I'm tripping all of your asses and running like the wind! he he. just kidding... maybe...
ReplyDeleteAt least a zombie would be a little slower. We might be able to run from it. As for the chainsaw guy, does this mean you're volunteering to protect us?
DeleteBy wildly inappropriate, do you mean my references to casual slaughter (see comment above). Or are we talking manroot here?
ReplyDeleteBoth, April. Both. :) lol
DeleteThat's HILARIOUS! And yeah, he totally wouldn't know I'm kidding. My humor only works on... well... like %1 of the population.
ReplyDeleteSheer genius. Trip them all. We have established that you have a killer flight instinct, after all. ;-)
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